Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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