i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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