If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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