I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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