Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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