Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize