so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize