Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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