You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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