I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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