whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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