Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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