No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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