I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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