VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize