So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize