shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize