i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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