Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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