It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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