if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize