Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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