yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize