Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize