We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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