I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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