Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
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Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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