For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Shame - the story of my life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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