WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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