Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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