i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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