and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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