Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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