we're blogging at a bar
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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