K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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