I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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