How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and she was petting her beer can
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize