i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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