just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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