I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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