I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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