woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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