i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
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My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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