I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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