Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize