i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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