It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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