mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This baby is an asshole
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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