What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
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Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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