i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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