i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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