Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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