I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize